Professional Business Communications

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Good People Skills

We are so concerned about learning everything it takes to become successful in our business lives, if we are self employed or working for a large corporation, that we forget that one of the most important things for our professional as well as personal lives is having really good people skills.

We go to prestigious universities, we learn how to write good cover letters, read books on mastering the art of marketing, develop awesome web sites, and force ourselves to make dreaded cold calls, but we neglect to analyze and upgrade the way we work and deal with the people around us.

Sure there are web sites which help us find a roommate or a job. But often it is someone who knows someone else he also recently met and who is just being helpful, and through him you find what you need; that’s how it often works– in Silicon Valley, the San Francisco Bay Area and in the rest of the USA.

We are a diverse population from many different countries, but what unites us is the wish to make it here and have a good life – which brings us back to people skills and the realization that they are a must.

Here are some considerations on making relationships with people work to your and their advantage:

Look at people and smile
Have you ever seen someone on the street or in a car and he looks really grim and fierce and then you smile at him and the transformation that happens is incredible? You can have the same powerful effect on the people you meet and who work around you if you take the time to look at them and smile. For some cultures, it isn’t as natural as for others, but it’s not fake or manipulative if you smile at people, it cuts across all cultures and it works.

To use an American idiom that is currently “in”, just “hang” with people
In the US and in the Silicon Valley in particular, life is hectic and everyone has a full schedule – but, there should always be time to meet with friends, have some coffee, go to plenty of networking events, make new friends and enjoy being with others without having any reason to meet. Take the time to smell the roses around you and see how you connect to friends and business colleagues.

Be genuinely interested in the people you meet
Most people (and certainly here in the San Francisco Bay Area) have something interesting to say, they just have to know that you are interested to hear them. Ask open questions that elicit other responses than yes and no and give interested responses to what you’re hearing. Many international professionals have learned that it is important to make eye contact while listening, and while that is important, you also have to react to comments; acknowledge what is being said with a smile and a nod of your head. Smiling and encouraging people to speak will make your interactions more genuine and comfortable.

Give people something of value in a relationship
If you want to be a person people call on, give them something which is meaningful for the relationship. Offer support, encouragement and active help with a new job or a relationship problem, introduce them to your friends and make them feel appreciated; convey to them the importance you place on your relationship.

There are obviously many more things that are important in having good people skills, but one thing many never consider is that they can take classes or use individual coaches to improve their own people skills; it comes naturally to some, but it is a skill that can be learned. We at Blendstrup & Associates offer individual as well as group classes that go across cultures and examine which American skills you have acquired that can be expanded and which ones you can still learn.

There are many coaches and communication groups where you can learn this kind of expertise as well. The main thing is that you realize it’s important and do something to about it.

For futher information, please contact contact us.

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